Friday, November 11

How To Shave and Listen to Your I-Pod

1. Wear pants, preferably jeans, with a back pocket.

2. Set I-Pod to random play.

3. Place I-Pod in back pocket.

4. Place headphones (in special “mug me” white) in ears.

5. But make sure headphone chord runs down your back, not down your front.

6. Run hot water in sink.

7. Lather.

8. Pick up razor.

9. You are now ready to shave.

10. Begin shaving and grooving.

11. Be careful not too groove too much if random play should select Can’t Stop Till You Get Enough by Michael Jackson.

12. Keep band-aids handy in case you do groove too much.

13. Watch out for the square part of the jaw.

14. That’s the tricky bit.

15. Don’t be distracted if random play selects a LOUD tune by Mogwai.

16. Nor if it plays a Modest Mouse tune.

17. Keep still and shave until finished.

18. Reflect upon a more pleasant shave and be thankful you live in the technological era.


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