MELBOURNE

I’m moving to Melbourne. Not right now, though. I’ll be there from August 2005 until July 2006. I just accepted an associate position [judicial clerkship] with Justice Susan Kenny of the Melbourne registry of the Federal Court. So I’ve now signed up for 2 years of judicial clerkships and I haven’t even left law school. How did this happen? I’m going to be nearly 32 before I even have a chance of getting a job as a real lawyer (will I ever get a real job? – it’s looking less and less likely as the years go by).

The only way I could make up my mind about this was by not considering it a decision to move back to Australia permanently. Spending a year in Australia won’t make getting a work visa for the US any harder. I might try to line up a job before I leave and then use the year in Melbourne to get a new visa. And I still may decide to stay in Australia. The only problem with Australia is that there’s no interesting work. Does the better surf make up for it?

Now all my friends who live in Sydney, Perth and Canberra have to move to Melbourne. Come on folks, who’s up for it? You guys in Perth and Canberra know you have no excuse.

. . . .

Malcolm has moved from calling me a scoundrel to impugning all Australians. He is now convinced that criminality is genetic and that I stole his hat because of my convict ancestry (I actually have convict ancestry by the way). He is just trying to blame me for the fact that he spends 5-20 minutes every morning looking for his hat. His bad memory is to blame, not my convict ancestors, may they rest in peace.

A modern puzzle: Which page is funnier, the famous Peter Pan page or the new Tron costume page? Which is sadder? Which creates a stronger urge to gouge out your own eyes? I think the Tron costume page is the new champion on all counts.